So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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