She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
