I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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