Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
