nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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