in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
