my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
