He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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