I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
