Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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