i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
