Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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