Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
