And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
