guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
