Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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