we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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