I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize