Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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