dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
