There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're making bets on your personal life
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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