hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize