dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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