Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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