I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
