just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
