i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
