Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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