Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
