This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
