can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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