why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
