i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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