we made out on top of his cat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
