So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
