somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
