I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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