is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Houston, we have a blender
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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