I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
