This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
