I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
