i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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