i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
