I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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