and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
