used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
