This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
