I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
