I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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