This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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