My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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