Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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