Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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