mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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