i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
