i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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