Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
