you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
