I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
