That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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