my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
