i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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