We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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