I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
