Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
