I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
