She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize